Feedback jeder Art Void Honey

[GraveyardShift]

Autumn comes with practiced ease
She doesn't know what she does to me,
But once she kisses my wet lips
She devours me in her Paradise Abyss.

Now I can't tell reason from rhyme
I have long left them behind for your sway and sticky words
Make me in, in to your Honey Comb.





(Thank you for reading, German comments are very welcomed.)

 

[Stavanger]

Hallo!

Ob das allerdings mit dem Englischen so stimmt?! Ich bin kein "native speaker", aber so jemanden bräuchtest du vielleicht.
"Welcomed" geht jedenfalls nicht; ohne das "d" wär's schon viel besser.

Glaubt, mit Gruß:
Uwe

P.S. Was bedeutet denn: "Make me in"?
Da wäre ich doch neugierig.